Unfortunately, I think I found an answer. Yesterday I found myself eating at Chuck-A-Rama, an all-you-can-eat buffet. It cost about $11 for all the meat, potatoes, veggies, fruit, salad, scones, soda and desserts that you could manage. I was determined to get my money’s worth. I didn’t pile my plates super high because I knew I could go back as many times as I wanted, so I did.
Plate 1: Salad, fruit, mac & cheese and a scone. With chicken noodle soup on the side. (Dr. Pepper)
-At this point I was still feeling pretty good and was excited to get some real food.
Plate 2: Turkey, roast beef, bbq chicken drumstick, mashed potatoes with gravy and a scone
-Really getting into the food after having the good stuff, slowing down but ready for more.
Plate 3: Some type of casserole, green beans, corn and a scone. (More Dr. Pepper)
-About the time I hit the middle of plate 3 I was feeling like I could stop eating and be satisfied. But there was still more food. And, at this point, I had paid almost $4 per plate. That isn’t a bad price, but I knew I could get it down from there.
Plate 4: Three scones. (Apple Beer)
-After this, I had to stop. There was no more room. But I hadn’t had dessert yet.
Plate 5: Brownie, peach cobbler, chocolate pudding and a strawberry/vanilla soft serve frozen yogurt twist. (Tiger’s Blood slush drink)
-I wanted to cry. Each bite of frozen yogurt hurt as it filled the non-existent space in my stomach. The pudding had no room and just filled up my throat. I filled my mouth with the peach cobbler and just shoved the brownie in.
I sat there waiting for the food to digest. Instead it felt like the food was digesting my insides. It seemed to swell. I couldn’t move. I eventually was able to hobble out to the car and magically made it home. I collapsed on the floor, stared at the ceiling and asked myself, “Why?”
I thought of each item I had eaten and the total cost. I figured it cost less than $.50 for each item, not even including the drinks. Initially I thought about how that was a pretty good price. But then I thought that I would pay $1 per item to go back in time and not eat it. I sloshed into my bed and quickly fell asleep.
I skipped breakfast this morning because I still couldn’t think about food. Now it’s about 11:15 and I’m getting hungry. I just found out that the local all-you-can-eat pizza buffet is having a 20% off deal for lunch today. I wonder how many slices of pizza I’ll need to eat to get each one under $.25…..