Snowflake Dispensers

There are some things that I understand need to come in different varieties and variations. People have different personalities and therefor want different products and services to suffice their personal needs. All people like different types of cars, music, movies, clothing, food, etc… These are all things that are pretty substantial in defining a person’s identity.

One thing, however, that I DON’T understand is why there are so many different types of paper towel dispensers. I’m not sure I have ever been to two different public restrooms and had the same paper towel dispensing experience. There are hundreds, literally hundreds of various styles. The interesting thing is that none of these dispensers seem to satisfy commonly addressed identity issues. Also, 95% of them fall in the same sufficiency margins…which is unfortunately low. Here are some examples:

Slot Machine Paper Towel DispenserThe Slot Machine
You pull down the magical nob sticking out and an irritatingly small amount of paper towel comes out, causing you to crank it about 13 times before you can even see it coming out.

 

 

Hand Push Paper Towel DispenserThe Push
The same basic design as the slot machine but more finger friendly. Now you don’t flick water all up and down the wall as you’re trying to get the towels out to dry off.


 

Hand Sensor Paper Towel DispenserThe Wave
Someone is making bank on this by getting motion detectors used in more places than flood lights over garage doors. The main problem is that it’s too slow, and I’m pretty sure the government uses them to keep track of population movements with hidden infrared fingerprint scanning technology.

 

Fall Out Paper Towel DispenserThe Fall Out
Though it is very basic, this is probably the best, most reliable and safest model they’ve come out with yet. No gadgets or mechanisms that will constantly break. Just simple gravity required, available in most areas.

 


Why are there so many different kinds? Nobody knows. Which means the true answer is again marketing. Everybody wants to get their hands in as many markets as possible, wet or dry. The more prestigious competitors have left paper completely and take a seemingly greener approach.

Hit It Paper Towel DispenserHit it
One of the best technologies on which to take out your standard anger. I always felt the harder I hit it the longer it would stay on. This one is very effective at blowing all the water off your hands and down onto your pants.

 

Aerial Bliss Aerial Bliss
New and exciting piece also blatantly plagued with government tracking. Effectively blows your hands dry without making it look like you had a bit of an accident.

So despite all of our breakthroughs in technology, we’re still staying as diverse as ever. Keeping things American I suppose. Because of an unwillingness to conform to or support any of these lifestyles or to let the government know what I’m up to, I steer clear of all such devices. I have found ‘just holding it’ to be the best solution.